Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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