Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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