I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
