susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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