This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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