Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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