Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
