actually, I'm a sock model
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize