So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
