new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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