he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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