I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
