i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
