you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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