i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
