Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
