see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
