He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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