Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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