Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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