So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
