lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize