How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
