1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just tell him i said nine months
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
