I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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