Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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