Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
