THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
