So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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