well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
