I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
