Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
