good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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