You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
