the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
