He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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