The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
