I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
