how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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