I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
