Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
