in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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