I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
