Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
