I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
