I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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