420 ftw
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
