Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize