what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
