Hey man sorry I got all grabby
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
