why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
