She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
