Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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