Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize