Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
