we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
