you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
